Guy Posts

I enjoy your Dove Ice Cream bars a lot. In college, whenever I was stressed out, like really stressed out, I would throw my pen/pencil/book down and exclaim to my roommate … “I need a dove bar.” I would walk 10 minutes to the convenience store, buy a delicious Dove ice cream bar, and walk back through snow/sleet/or rain to my room. I would then savor each bite of heaven, while sitting on my bed. It had the most calming placating affect on me.

Because of this, I saved the dove bar for the most dire situations… situations where I saw no end in sight and thought the world was about to come crashing down on me.

In light of the recent financial turmoil, I find a similar measure is needed. The bailout isn’t working, and people are ceaselessly selling out of fear that the world is coming to an end yesterday. I know the Dove Bar worked for me, and I am sure it will work for the world. What needs to happen is a cart of dove frozen ice cream bars needs to make its way onto the blood stained floors of the nyse.

Can you imagine the scene??

we break into the trading floor
with a cart full of dove bars
and at first the security guards are protesting
bernanke and paulson are trying to arrest us
but as the first trader inquisitively unwraps his dove bar
and cautiously bites into heaven
and you see his expression change, and he realizes … it’s not so bad after all
and trader after trader
experiences a transformation
the authorities resist
and even they too have a dove bar
and then, the uk sees us eating dove bars
and before you know it jim cramer is calmly sitting in his chair… sleeves securely fastened to his wrists
enjoying a dove bar
not screaming, not yelling
and he’ll look up to the camera
and nod in agreement with the rest of the world…
that hits the spot 

Please consider the risk/reward of this proposition. The fate of the world rests in your hands…